During this time of transition and uncertainty, individual and group counseling may be useful to help you through this difficult stage in your life. Here are some ways that counseling can benefit you, your spouse, and your children:

 

1.      Counseling can help you build and maintain a healthy marriage.  If there is any chance of saving your marriage, I strongly urge you to explore it.  At times it may be difficult to determine whether divorce is the correct path for you, or if there is anything that may be done to save your marriage. Enlisting the help of a marriage counselor can help you uncover the root of your marital issues and determine whether or not your marriage is salvageable. If you and your spouse are willing to put forth the work, with the help of a marriage counselor, you and your spouse may be able to rebuild your marriage.

 

2.      Counseling can give you peace of mind.  If you attempt marriage counseling or individual counseling in hopes of working on your marriage, and it is unsuccessful, you can have peace of mind in knowing that you went the extra step to try and save your marriage prior to considering divorce.

 

3.      Counseling can help your children deal with the divorce.  You and your spouse’s actions during the divorce will affect your children.  Your actions will makes a huge difference in how your children feel and deal with the idea of you and your spouse having marital conflict or deciding to divorce. By receiving the assistance of a mental health professional, you can help minimize the damage caused by the divorce process and speed the healing process.

 

4.      Counseling can help you and your spouse co-parent effectively.  Your actions during the divorce can set the tone for how you and your spouse will work together in the future for your children’s welfare. Even after you are divorced, you and your spouse will still be your children’s parents. Your children’s best interests are served if each of you are courteous to the other and maintain an active role in the lives of your children.  This includes both parents participating in the decision-making that affects your children. If you and your spouse are not yet able to put aside your differences and put the children first, counseling can help get there.

 

5.      Counseling can help you reduce the stress cause by divorce.  Divorce is stressful.  Some people cope better with stress than others. Talking with a counselor about how to deal with the stress is often helpful.  In addition, it will help you put your emotions aside so that you can make rational decisions.

 

6.      Counseling can help you work with your lawyer.  Counseling may help you see emotional issues for what they are so that you can make better judgments as to legal and financial matters. This can help you avoid making costly irrational decisions based off your emotions.

 

7.      Counseling can help you with accepting that the marriage has ended.  Counseling can help you and your spouse understand the reasons and causes of the marital breakup. This can help you understand what went wrong in your marriage so that you can make a wiser decision in selecting your next spouse. Although you may think that you will never marry again, most divorced people do remarry. A better understanding of your role in the breakup of this marriage will maximize your chances of success next time.

 

8.      Counseling can help you rebuild your life.  Counseling can help you understand and appreciate the problems of your marriage. This will likely enable you to be better equipped to recover from your anger and frustration.  By getting past your anger and frustration, you will be able to look past the hurt and towards your future so that you can rebuild and get on with your life.